


Another

by llcflms



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, also a lot of misogyny and general asshole attitudes from oc-kun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:50:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llcflms/pseuds/llcflms
Summary: After being asked out by someone, Hinami accepts him and enters a relationship despite her feelings for Ayato. Meanwhile, Ayato stays silent about his feelings, thinking that he’s lost his chance. Eventually, Hinami figures out Ayato’s feelings. With this new knowledge, she finds it’s impossible to resist him anymore, giving into the temptation rather easily. Hinami soon finds herself balancing two guys– her boyfriend who treats her like absolute trash and her illicit lover who wants to make their relationship public.





	Another

**Author's Note:**

> I love my cheating fics, although of course I don't condone it in real life. This fic got pretty good responses on tumblr and it was my second most popular fic after Shattered so I decided to reupload it here as well. There is supposed to be a Chapter 2 but god knows when I'll get to that. This can pretty much standalone so it's fine.

“Onii-chan, Onee-chan, Banjou-san, Tsukiyama-san.”

Ayato stops as he hears her voice beyond the door. His hand remains on the doorknob, almost turning it but not yet. He wonders if she’ll feel comfortable saying whatever she means to say to Kaneki and the rest if he’s there. He can report to Kaneki later.

“I-I… I got asked out!!”

Ayato hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. He really wanted to give Hinami her privacy with the four of them. But he stops at this, his heart beating fast in his chest. Someone had asked Hinami out; someone had asked the girl he loves out. He doesn’t know what to feel about it, but he knows there’s something brewing deep in his stomach right now. He feels a little nauseous, a lot like the feeling one gets when they’re hungry. But Ayato knows he’s not hungry right now. He just ate five minutes ago.

“Oh. Mademoiselle Hinami is a woman now,” Tsukiyama sighs. Ayato doesn’t really understand what that word is, but it does have a nice ring to it. He knows Tsukiyama and Hinami are close– how, he doesn’t understand, but he’s always been a little envious of how Hinami is eager to talk to the man about books and flowers. It must be nice having common interests. Ayato never knows what to talk to her about. In Aogiri, all they talked about was missions and tragic backstories– not something that’s helpful when he wants to advance their relationship. He must seem like a boring guy to her.

“Who was it? Ayato?” Banjou asks. Ayato winces at the tone he uses. It’s subtle, but Ayato can hear the distaste in his voice. Well, it’s not like Ayato expects Banjou out of all people to be accepting of him. He’ll be concerned if Banjou is.

“No… it’s someone else. It’s Ryouta-kun…” Hinami says softly. Ayato furrows his brows. He knows that name. The person’s a close associate of both Hinami and him. Ryouta had followed Ayato to Cochlea and into the 24th Ward as well. He hadn’t thought that Ryouta even had the slightest interest in Hinami. Ayato had assumed he came along to Cochlea simply because Ayato asked him to.

“Ryouta-kun?” Kaneki says, confused. “Who’s that?”

“He’s a friend from back when I was in Aogiri,” Hinami admits.  _Friend?_ Ayato didn’t think Ryouta and Hinami were even close as subordinates. Were they really friends? He hadn’t seen them together much, but then again, Ayato had always been so busy in Aogiri. He wasn’t around enough in their base to know anything for sure.

“What did you say?” Banjou asks.

“I… I…” Hinami pauses for a moment and Ayato can imagine her flushing as she speaks. He knows her answer already from the tone she’s using right now. It’s predictable. “I accepted it.”

_She accepted him._

Ayato wants to scream but he holds himself in place, hand squeezing the doorknob. The silence that follows drags on far too long, or perhaps, it seems long to him. He’s eager to hear a reply. He wants to know what everyone thinks. Hell, Touka has been silent the entire time. He knows his sister is in there. Won’t she say something about it?

“So that means the two of you are together now, doesn’t it?” Tsukiyama sighs.

“Congratulations, Hina-chan! I’m so happy for you!” Ayato hears the tears in Banjou’s voice. He sounds so happy for her and Ayato feels bad that he isn’t feeling the same way. He should be happy for Hinami. She’s a close friend of his and that’s what good friends do.

But Ayato doesn’t feel happy at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. He hates this turn of events. He hates Ryouta even though he’s never done anything to him. It feels like Hinami’s been stolen away from him. Ayato feels bitter as heck, but he’s only more bitter over the fact that he knows he has no right to be feeling this way. Hinami and him have nothing; she can’t be stolen from him. Sure, they’ve done things here and there but everything has been fleeting, temporary– nothing permanent.

The only thing that’s really permanent is his clearly unrequited feelings.

“I’m happy for you, Hinami but… are you sure he’s a good person?” Kaneki asks, sounding really wary and doubtful.

“He is! I’m sure!” Hinami says immediately. “I… uh… love him a lot.”

Ayato’s sure that the hesitation he hears in her voice is simply his imagination. His hand drops from the doorknob and he turns away. He doesn’t hear his sister say anything at all, not even when he’s walking away. All he hears are the combined happy voices of the three men in there with her.

He doesn’t hear about it from Hinami at all. On the contrary, it’s Ryouta who tells him about it when they’re coming home from a mission a couple of days later.

“Ayato-san…” he says a little hesitantly. “Hina- Yotsume-sama told me that I should let you know about this… She and I are going out.”

 _I know._ Ayato’s about to snap at Ryouta but he stays silent for a moment. He can feel the eyes of his other subordinates on him. Ayato wonders if they know. Miza had said he’s like an open book and that everyone can easily see his feelings for Hinami. That would probably explain the tensed atmosphere right now. If Ayato wanted to, he can easily tear Ryouta apart.

But he won’t, of course. Ryouta’s not harassing her. Hinami returns his feelings too. How can Ayato ever do something like that to someone who makes Hinami happy? As much as he wants to slam Ryouta’s head against metal bars beside them, he can’t. He can’t tear those hands off the body even though they’re the ones that are touching Hinami in ways he longs to. All he can do is picture those things in his mind.

“If you’re really her boyfriend, is that how you’re addressing her?” Ayato asks instead.

“Oh… Uhh… Hinami says I should tell you that.”

_I call her Hinami too, you fucking loser._

“Well, I wish the two of you the best of luck.” He tries to play it off coolly and nonchalantly. But he knows that everyone is seeing through his act from the way his voice cracks and his eyes focus on nothing in particular in the distance. Miza is right– he is an open book.

Now that Ayato thinks about it, he still hasn’t heard anything from his sister.

He returns to base that day but leaves the reporting to his subordinates. He doesn’t go to see Kaneki. He goes to Touka instead– or at least he goes to search for her. Touka’s room is at the other end of their base. He has to go past everyone else’s. That includes his room and the room beside his– Hinami’s.

He tries not to bother when he walks past her room but ends up slowing down and looking in anyway. Her door is opened after all. Hinami is seated on her bed, a book in hand. She must have heard his footsteps because she looks up right as he was outside. Their eyes meet and Hinami’s go wide for a moment. Her lips part, as if she wants to say something, but she remains silent. Ayato realises he’s frozen as well. His legs have stopped moving and his body had stiffened, almost as if he’s been turned to stone. He swallows the lump in his throat and clenches his fists tightly.

He really should say something. He looks like an idiot just standing there staring at her.

“Ayato-san?” He blinks at the cursed voice, turning around immediately. His eyes meet Ryouta’s dark ones, who are widened in surprise. “Can I help you?”

“What are you doing here? Isn’t your room all the way at the other end,” Ayato asks instead, immediately slapping himself for that dumb, instinctive response.

“I’m here to see Hinami,” he says, nodding at her room. “What are you doing here?”

Ayato points to the room right beside Hinami’s. “That’s… my room.”

Ryouta’s brows furrow a little. “Oh right. I forgot. Your room is right beside  _my girlfriend’s_ after all.”

Ayato understands the meaning behind his tone immediately– why’s another man sleeping in the room right beside  _my girl_ ; why’s another man so close to  _my girl_? He gets what kind of a person Ryouta is almost instantly and he wonders if Hinami is truly happy with this person.

“Yeah, because… you know, we get the better rooms due to our position,” Ayato says. Ryouta’s eyes narrow at this and Ayato knows just how low that was but he chooses not to care. He doesn’t really like Ryouta that much, but he has no idea if he’s thinking too much about it or simply just letting his own jealousy cloud everything he sees about this man. He turns his back to him and starts walking towards Touka’s room again. He feels Ryouta’s eyes on him, even long after he’s walked out of sight.

Touka isn’t in her room when he arrives, which means she’s probably in the kitchen. He wonders if he should bother looking for her or if he should just go back to his room instead. But he really feels the need to talk to someone and the only person who’s going to bother about whatever sappy irrelevant bullshit he has to say is Touka. He turns back and walks in long strides, slowing down only when he’s near Hinami’s room. He hears the noises from there loud and clear and he probably would still have heard them if the door was closed. But the door is open and there’s no way he’ll miss any of that with his trained ears.

When he walks past the room, he stops, freezing in place as his eyes go wide. Ryouta has her pinned against the wall, her head thrown back against it with her eyes squeezed tight. He’s working on her neck– Ayato knows just how sensitive she is over there– as one of his hands cup and mould one of her breasts, creasing her blouse in the process. Her hands are settled on his shoulder, squeezing him tightly as she pants and moans his name with the same voice she had used back then. Ayato feels different just looking at them. His body feels hot just from remembering that one time, remembering how it felt to have Hinami’s fingers digging into his body and how it felt when she moans his name softly into his ear. He’s always wanted to experience that again. But he’ll never get the chance to.

Ryouta raises his head, moving his mouth to her lips instead. His eyes open, darting to the side to lock onto Ayato’s.  _He knows._  Ayato wonders if Ryouta had left the door open on purpose, hoping that Ayato would see this. He wants to discard the thought again– it might be that green-eyed monster again– but it’s hard to do so when Ryouta pulls away from Hinami with a smirk and with his eyes still locked onto Ayato, brings his hand down her body and towards the junction between her legs.

Ayato doesn’t think he wants to see that. He doesn’t think he can hold on watching that. All thoughts of finding his sister vanish from his mind as he turns to enter his room instead, slamming the door behind him and throwing himself on his bed, burying himself in his pillows to shut out the noises he hears. He’s thankful he has pillows. The walls are thin; he can hear everything.

Ayato dozes off for a while. He just returned from a mission after all and unlike Ryouta and the rest, he had been working before that as well. He’s pretty much exhausted. He manages to catch a short nap before he opens his eyes again, pushing his pillows and blankets away as he gets up. But the moment he does so, he pauses, eyes narrowing as he looks up at the ceiling. He’s hearing the noises again, but this time, it’s more desperate.

“Ryou-Ryouta-kun! Ah… Please… More.”

_Hinami…_

Ayato turns to his side, closing his eyes and trying to force himself to sleep. But all he continues to hear is her moans and cries, begging for more, for him to go harder and deeper and for him to touch her  _over there_ some more. Ayato opens his eyes again. Sleep is far away from him, especially when he feels just how uncomfortable his pants are right now. His hand moves to his crotch, palming the tent lightly.

This is disgusting. This is just  _wrong_. He shouldn’t be getting turned on by Hinami’s moans, especially not when she’s calling out for someone else. But he lets himself undo his belt and pants quickly before he reaches underneath the waistband of his boxers. He’s hard and he feels the wetness starting to coat his tip. Ayato is sure his cheeks are flushed when he pulls it out, stroking it lightly before his grip tightens and he starts to pick up his pace.

“Ryouta…kun…” she moans and Ayato can imagine the sight. Her, under him, back arching as her hands grasp the sheets tightly, trembling as his length pushes through her, pulsating deep inside her soaking cunt. It was just one night but the image had been carved so deeply into his mind. He hadn’t let himself close his eyes that night. He wanted to see everything, to watch and memorize how beautiful she looked while she was writhing under him. He kept his ears sharp; he wanted to remember how her voice sounded when she screamed his name.

_Ayato-kun._

“Hinami…” He bites his lip as a soft moan slips out. If he can hear them, he’s sure they’ll be able to hear him too. Hinami isn’t screaming or anything. She’s much quieter than she was when she was with him– Ryouta probably sucks in bed, considering how sensitive she is–  but he can hear her so clearly. Hinami’s ears are so much better than him. She’ll be able to pick up even the slightest of sounds.

He turns his head and bites down hard on his pillow, muffling his voice as much as he can. He moves his hands with embarrassment burning in the back of his mind.  _He’s so pathetic._ Ryouta would love this; he’d have the time of his life learning about how he’s reduced Ayato to this. Even if Ayato’s stronger, smarter and much more handsome, it’s still Ryouta who got the girl.

He feels the familiar build up and he closes his eyes tightly, arms flexing as he picks up his pace. He hears Hinami’s moans grow more desperate as well, although they’re nowhere as loud and hoarse as Ryouta’s is. Ayato shoves the thought of the other guy away, focusing merely on her, her and only her. He wonders what it’ll be like to have her on top of him— how will she feel like when she has him completely in her and how she’ll look bouncing her hips against his own. The thought is enough to send him over the edge, spilling over his hands and staining his clothes and sheets.

He remains still for a moment, breathing hard, feeling completely ashamed of what he just did. He touched himself, to Hinami’s voice and the image of her, while she was being fucked by his own underling right next door. He’s pathetic. Ayato closes his eyes and sighs. He hears voices from next door. They’re talking now.

“Fuck… That felt good,” Ryouta groans. “You came pretty hard as well too, didn’t you?”

“Uhmmm… No– Yes, I did.”

“That’s good.”

Ayato furrows his brows, opening his eyes slightly. That was an obvious lie from Hinami. Hinami’s a terrible liar and her voice always wavers like it just did whenever she tries to lie. But it seems like Ryouta doesn’t realise this– either because he doesn’t care too much about it or he doesn’t know Hinami enough.

Either way, Ayato doesn’t like it at all.

* * *

 

She’s uncomfortable. The ache between her legs continues as she lies flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She’s vaguely aware of Ryouta sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on his clothes. He seems satisfied with everything that happened. He had come pretty hard– thankfully outside as Hinami managed to pull out in the last moment. Ryouta didn’t seem to have any intention of listening to her. He did seem like he was going to finish inside. Though Hinami isn’t surprised at all. Ryouta hadn’t bothered about anything but himself.

There had barely been any foreplay aside from when he asked her to go down on him and suck. A short while later, he pressed her down on the bed and entered her. She was barely wet at that point and she’s sure it would have hurt far more if this had been her first time, definitely far more than it did when Ayato took her virginity. Ayato had been gentle with her. He had entered slowly, allowed her some breathing space and only moved when she told him to. Ryouta hadn’t bothered. When he knew she’s fine with having sex, he hadn’t considered anything else except for his comfort and pleasure. He’d definitely have made it hurt a lot more.

Or perhaps not. It’s not like he was that big or anything. In fact, he hadn’t even been able to reach into the places deep inside her that Ayato had reached. He barely even stretched her as much as Ayato had. Hinami doesn’t want to be too mean, especially not to her own boyfriend, but he had a pretty pathetic dick.

Hinami pressed her legs together, rubbing them slightly. She’s so frustrated and she’s still so aroused. She hadn’t even reached her peak but Ryouta had assumed she did and for some reason, Hinami had let him think so. Now it’s her who’s paying the price– lying naked and horny while he’s preparing to go. Hinami reaches over and grabs onto his shirt, tugging it a little. Ryouta looks at her over his shoulders.

“Do you want to do it again?” Hinami asks.

Ryouta’s eyes shoot open wide. “What the fuck, Hinami? That’s crude of you…”

“I actually didn’t get a chance to–”

“I really shouldn’t be too surprised you’re so straightforward,” Ryouta sighs, cutting into her words. It’s a habit he seems to have. He never lets her speak at all. He’s always talking over her or cutting into her. Any time she manages to say something, she doesn’t know any better and she should just leave everything to him.

“If you don’t want to it’s okay. I–”

“You didn’t tell me you’re not a virgin, Hinami,” Ryouta scoffs.

“You didn’t ask…”

“It’s because you pretend to be some kind of prude who’s always nice and sweet with a good book and everything. No one would think you’d have sex before!”

“That’s your problem for assuming–”

“I didn’t think I was dating a slut!”

“It was just one night and–”

“One night! Who’s the guy? I’m going to rip him to shreds!” Ryouka growls. Hinami almost snorts in laughter.  _Him?_ Ayato will rip him apart even before he can take his stick of a kagune out. Ryouta turns to Hinami and leans over her, taking her by the chin to force her to look into his eyes. “You’re mine, understand. No one should ever touch you. You shouldn’t let anyone touch you. Okay?”

“O…kay…”

“Tell me, who’s the guy?”

“It’s no one you know,” Hinami says. She doesn’t know why she’s lying. Ryouta really can’t do anything to Ayato.

“Really? I was sure it’ll be Ayato.”

She panics, but again, she’s not too sure why. Hinami shakes her head insistently. “Why would you even think it’s Ayato-kun?”

“Because everybody knows that Ayato likes you,” Ryouta scoffs.

She’ll be lying if she says that her heart didn’t skip a beat at this. She tries to remain as reactionless as possible, even if she’s desperate to ask him about it more.  _How does he know? Why does he say that? Is it true? Is it really_ really  _true? Since when has he noticed it?_

“Ayato-kun doesn’t like me,” she says flatly after a moment of silence. It can’t be true. Ayato really doesn’t act like he likes her. It’s not like he said anything about it. He hadn’t even flirted with her before, not even once.

“Ayato’s completely in love with you. He’s obvious as fuck about it as well,” Ryouta snaps, turning away from her and releasing his hold on her. He gets up, straightening out his clothes and starts walking towards the door. “Well, you’re mine and that’s all that matters. I’m gonna go back to my room now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His words are punctuated with the slam of the door, which leaves Hinami now utterly alone, in a deafeningly silent room, frustrated and desperate. She sighs, closing her eyes. Ryouta’s words ring in her ears over and over again.  _Ayato’s completely in love with you._

Hinami doesn’t believe it. She doesn’t  _want_  to believe it. She’s spent so long trying to convince herself that he doesn’t and that she’ll never have a chance. She accepted Ryouta simply because she thought she’ll never have a chance with Ayato. He’s leagues above her– handsome, strong, confident and kind. She’s just…  _her_. Thinking that she should never expect anything from him, she’d gone to someone else instead. Maybe Ryouta would help her get over him. Maybe dating Ryouta would end the cycle of wishful thinking and heartbreaks she found herself in. Maybe she can fall in love with someone who’s more like her– someone who’s not Ayato.

But he loves her.  _Ayato loves her_ and she doesn’t know what to do now.

The ache between her legs hadn’t faded at all since Ryouta left. If anything, it had only intensified at her thoughts of Ayato. As the same words continue on and on in her head, she lets her hand wander down, slipping it between her slicks thighs and pushing a pair of fingers into the folds. A whimper that sounds a little too much like his name slips out of her mouth. Her heart thuds in her chest. Ryouta definitely won’t like this. He’d called her crude simply for asking for another round and a slut for sleeping with someone else. He’d hate the thought of her touching herself. He’ll definitely hate how, as she continues to thrust her fingers, the name that she pants out is far from his.

_Ayato-kun… Ayato-kun…_

She brings her fist to her mouth, biting down lightly on it. Ayato’s room is right next door. She doesn’t want him to hear it as well. After what Ryouta told her, she doesn’t know how to face Ayato anymore. Her moans grow louder, muffled by her hand but still too loud for her liking. But thinking of Ayato isn’t really helping her control over her body at all– her legs are spreading themselves and her hips are rocking against her fingers all on their own volition. She wishes he was here, touching her, holding her or even entering her the way he did that night. All thoughts of her boyfriend fade from her mind as she continues to picture him over her, smiling down at her in the way he always does when he looks at her.

It takes her by surprise how simply thinking about him while she’s using her fingers is enough to pull her over the edge really quickly. It was far easier than it was when Ryouta was ramming into her. He hadn’t even brought her close to an orgasm– quite the contrary, in fact.

Hinami wonders if she’ll be stuck with her fingers for as long as she’s dating Ryouta. She’d never have found herself in this position if Ayato’s the one she’s sleeping with. It feels like she’s made a huge mistake. She really shouldn’t have accepted Ryouta, especially not since she doesn’t even return those feelings he has– especially not since her feelings are directed at a completely different person.

Maybe karma came in the form of that useless boyfriend she got.

* * *

 

Ayato eventually does manage to find his sister the next day. It’s late and most of Goat had gone to sleep already. He had gone to get some coffee for himself, only to see Touka and Kaneki both seated in the kitchen, both drinking their own cups of coffee. Touka and Kaneki seemed to be happily chatting with their eyes locked on each other. They’re definitely in love right now. He knows that for sure. They don’t make it too obvious, but it’s always the little things that show him just how deep they’ve fallen for each other– the way their eyes lock for a little too long, the way their hands linger against each other as they stand side-by-side, the way Kaneki’s voice softens much more for Touka than anyone else. It’s always these little things that make Ayato gag at just how sappy these two are, but he knows it’s more than that. He supposes the little green monster shows up in many different places for many different things. It doesn’t just accompany him whenever he sees Hinami and Ryouta. It’s there with him even when he’s around his sister and brother-in-law, reminding him of things that he  _could have_  but probably will never have.

Touka brightens at the sight of him, getting up immediately. “Ayato! Good morning. Do you want some coffee?” she greets. But she doesn’t give him a chance to answer; she’s pouring him a cup as she speaks. Ayato takes a seat and Touka walks over to place the cup in front of him before she sits beside him.

“Ayato-kun, thank you for your hard work yesterday,” Kaneki says. “You really helped out a lot!”

“It was just clearing out some Doves… It’s nothing much.” He brings the cup of coffee to his mouth and takes a sip, savouring the taste as he drinks it. Touka’s coffee is delicious; that comes as no surprise. But it does surprise him how similar it tastes to Hinami’s coffee. Even if Hinami hadn’t told him outright, he knew that she was trying to replicate Anteiku’s coffee. Touka’s coffee was the epitome of Anteiku. In this sense, he supposes Hinami is successful.

He sure does miss the days she’ll welcome him back from his missions with a warm cup of coffee. Hinami doesn’t do that for him anymore. Ayato wonders if Hinami does it for Ryouta. He doesn’t think she does. It’s not like Hinami spends much time outside her room lately anyway.

Hinami used to make coffee for him. She doesn’t make any for Ryouta.  _That’s one win._

“You seem to be deep in thought,” Touka comments flatly. “What’s on your mind?”

He sure as hell isn’t going to tell her anything. “Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Touka asks.

“Yeah. Nothing,” he says again.

“Ayato-kun is ever the easy read. All three of us know that there is  _something_ ,” Kaneki chuckles. He stares down at his coffee for a moment, fingers fidgeting against the cup. “Is this about Hinami?”

Ayato would have spat out his coffee had he had any in his mouth. But he didn’t so Kaneki, who’s sitting in front of him, is spared from having a caffeine shower.  _What a pity…_

“It’s not about Hinami,” Ayato argues. But his voice shakes and he gulps. Everything seems to point to the fact that the problem is Hinami after all.

Touka sighs softly and reaches for his arm. “I know it’s hard… but if you really do love her, you should be glad that she’s happy.”

He almost argues in instinct.  _No, he doesn’t love her. No, he doesn’t care. No, he can’t even be bothered to feel happy for her._ But he knows how useless this endeavour would have been. Touka knows him inside-out. There’s nothing he can ever hide from her. Sometimes he used to think that she probably has access to his mind, or maybe they had some kind of sibling telepathy. Touka always knew what was going on with him– his thoughts, his worries and his fears. It’s what made her such a great big sister to have around. He didn’t have to worry about not being able to be honest with her because he didn’t have to be honest with her. She already knew everything.

It’ll be useless to lie to Kaneki as well. Kaneki is a lot like Hinami. They can see through whatever bullshit of an act he tries to put up. It’s always a wonder how Hinami had still not realised Ayato’s feelings for her given this unless it’s because she probably thinks it’s too unlikely a scenario.

With both Kaneki and Touka around, lying and pretending will get him nowhere. Ayato lets himself relax. His shoulder slouch and he lets out a sigh. He doesn’t bother to keep the stoic expression he had been forcing himself to maintain.

“Do you think she’s happy?” he asks.

“I don’t know… I haven’t really seen her with that guy around,” Touka admits.

“I don’t even know who the guy is,” Kaneki grumbles, setting his cup down.

“He’s the one who reported to you in my place yesterday…” Ayato sighs.  _What a King…_

“I didn’t pay any attention to him.”

“I don’t know who he is but I already hate him,” Touka says sharply. “I think the only person suited for Hinami is my cute little baby brother.”

He ignores the ‘cute’ and the ‘baby’ knowing that Touka was just saying that to tease him and instead, chooses to focus on what she’s saying. “You’re contradicting yourself.”

“Am I?”

“You just told me that I should be happy for her!”

Touka smirks, reaching over to pinch his cheek lightly. He’s tempted to push it away because he’s not a kid anymore, but Ayato does actually enjoy it when she does that. There isn’t anyone in the room aside from his older sister who had held the bawling baby him in her arms so many time and the man who’d seen him scream his lungs out while he got his bones broken. There’s really no reason for him to keep up an image before these two.

“I said you should be happy for her since you’re the one who’s in love and all. I’m not in love with Hinami so I have no reason to be happy for her when she’s dating some random guy none of us really know anything about,” Touka says, sticking her tongue out playfully at him.

_Ah, she’s trying to cheer him up._

“Touka-chan, your bias is showing,” Kaneki sighs lazily, resting his chin on one hand as he stares at the pair of siblings before him. “Touka-chan is right. I can’t really feel happy for her when I don’t know anything about the boy at all. But I also wonder… if he’s not a good boy, why did Hinami-chan accept him? I don’t think he’s that bad a boy.”

Ayato thinks of the previous day and he has to wonder. Ryouta had been polite and supportive of Ayato during the mission, but he’s also the same person who had left the door to Hinami’s room open on purpose as he touched her, leaving her on show for everyone. Ayato wouldn’t have been bothered too much if it had been a heat of the moment thing, but Ryouta had looked up and watched him and he had only reached down between her thighs when he knew Ayato was watching. It felt like she’s a trophy that he had won and is now on display for everyone to see, especially Ayato.

Ayato hates that.

“I don’t like him,” Ayato says flatly. “It’s different if it’s someone else. But I don’t like him.”

He would have said more, but Ayato hears footsteps approaching and he clamps up immediately. A short while later, someone does enter the kitchen and Ayato’s eyes grow wide from seeing her. Hinami stops by the entrance, her eyes seeming to mimic Ayato’s surprise as well. She looks at Kaneki and then to Touka, before she turns to him. It’s almost unnoticeable but Ayato picks up on the slight stiffening of her body as their eyes lock, her mouth parting a little as she mouths his name.

“Hinami!” Touka says excitedly. “Perfect! We were just talking about you!”

Ayato elbows Touka as she speaks, glaring at her to shut up. He might have the scariest of looks that can easily terrify even the oldest, biggest of underlings he had in Aogiri into complete subservience but to his sister, the look barely fazes her and he doesn’t think she even gives him a second thought as she looks at Hinami with her usual smile.

“Talking… about me?” Hinami asks slowly, rubbing her arm as she shifts her feet. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Not at all,” Kaneki says. He gestures to the seat beside him– in front of Ayato. “Have a seat. Touka-chan can pour you some coffee.”

“Don’t order me around like that,” Touka grumbles, even though she gets up to take a cup. Hinami murmurs a soft acknowledgement and sits down. Her fingers fumble with the sleeve of her cardigan as her head hangs low, hair falling to curtain her face from Ayato completely. He doesn’t know for sure, but it feels like she’s avoiding him.

_Or maybe he’s just thinking too much._

Touka walks back over and places a cup of steaming coffee in front of Hinami. Hinami stares at it for a moment before she looks up and nods at Touka.

“Thank you, Onee-chan.” She smiles, but it seems forced to him. Her voice sounds strained as well and Ayato wonders if she’s been crying or something. Her eyes don’t look like she had. Maybe she’s tired.

But it appears, Ayato isn’t the only one who noticed it. He sees Touka and Kaneki exchanging worried glances before Kaneki speaks up. “Hey, Hinami-chan did something–”

“Oh! I just remembered that Kaneki and I have something to do!” Touka cuts in, clapping her hands together. “I’m sorry. The two of you go ahead and finish your coffee. We’ll take our leave first.”

“Eh? But Touka-chan, Hinami–”

“We’re going,” she interrupts again, grabbing Kaneki’s arm and pulling him away. As they’re walking out, she turns around and her eyes catch Ayato’s fixing him with an instructive glare.

 _Do something._  How like his sister.

The silence that hangs between them after Touka and Kaneki left seems to weigh down on his shoulders heavier than he expected it to. Hinami turns back to her coffee and even though he knows it’s steaming hot, she takes the cup and gulps it all down. He watches her in silence, debating whether he should say something to her, but nothing really comes to mind. She finishes the drink, slamming the cup down on the saucer.

“You’re going to break it.” Hinami looks at him when he speaks and raises an eyebrow. Ayato immediately wants to slap himself for that stupid statement. “That cup hasn’t done anything to you.”

“I… It wasn’t that hard,” she grumbles, looking down at the cup. As much as he’d like to play the good boy role right now, his mind goes places he doesn’t want it to. She gets up and takes the cup and saucer along. From the corner of his eyes, he sees her taking Kaneki’s and Touka’s as well before walking to the sink to rinse them.

“What wasn’t that hard?” he asks after a while.

“Me slamming the cup. It won’t break.”

“Ah, I see,” he murmurs. He takes a sip of his coffee and then another before he decides to drink it all up in one go. His coffee isn’t that hot anymore. If Hinami can finish hers, he can finish his. “I thought you were talking about your boyfriend’s dick.”

“What?” Her reply comes immediately and from the corner of his eyes, he sees her turn around to flash him an annoyed look. Ayato hops off his seat and walks over to her with his cup. Hinami’s eyes remain on him, narrowed more and more as he comes closer and closer to her. He stops right beside her, reaching over to rinse his cup. Hinami watches him for another moment before she sighs. “That’s rude, Ayato-kun.”

“I’m just assuming from the things I hear,” he says frankly.

“What… things?”

He closes the tap and turns to her, facing her entirely. Hinami’s eyes are round with curiosity, looking up at him intently. She has pretty eyes, he notes once again, and he wonders if Ryouta ever takes the time to admire them. He takes a step closer to her and she stiffens, panic welling in the depths of her brown irises. He’s too close, definitely closer than her overly possessive boyfriend would like him to be, but he also realises that Hinami isn’t taking a step back at all.

“My room is right next to yours. The walls are thin, Hinami. Do you think I can’t hear your screams every night?” he snickers. “Ah, well, I really won’t consider them screams… which really has me asking if he was hard.”

Hinami reddens immediately, opening her mouth and then closing it immediately. She glances away from him, fiddling with her fingers again. He can’t look at her eyes now and his gaze travels downwards, along her sharp nose and a little lower to her lips. Her lips seem a little damp, probably from the coffee she just drank. She’s biting down on her bottom lip. He doubts she’s doing it consciously, but she’s making it obvious just how plump and soft her lips are, throwing him back to that one night when he had kissed them over and over again.

_There isn’t anyone around now…_

Ayato swallows the lump in his throat, chiding himself for that thought. But even as he tries to pull himself away from him, his body moves on its own. He takes another step towards her. Their bodies are practically touching now. Hinami looks up at him again. The panic hasn’t faded from her eyes but as his head lowers towards hers, he sees something else swim in those depths. His lips had yet to touch hers before her arms reach forward to wind around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. Ayato relents and in mere seconds he’s pushing himself against her, hands on her hips and lifting her up. Hinami is pushing back with the same amount of force, her legs around his waist and her hands fisted in his hair. Ayato turns slightly to place her on the counter, letting his hands wander down to the hem of her blouse. Hinami pulls away from him, hands dropping from his head to grab onto his as she tries to push them away.

“No…” she murmurs.

“No?”

“Ryouta-kun might see… I can’t do this…” she whispers.

“I want you, Hinami…” Those words are out before he really considers saying them. He opens his eyes a little, looking up at hers. They’re watery, glimmering with tears as she looks down on him. Her hands cup his face.

“I know… I know…” she says, thumb stroking his skin lightly. “I want you too, Ayato-kun but–”

He cuts her off with a kiss, mind reeling from her words.  _She wants him. She wants him too._  It should be absurd to him. Why would she want him when she had someone else? Perhaps that might be a little obvious an answer. But it doesn’t answer why it has to be him.

Hinami, for all her denial and slight resistance, reciprocates the kiss, taking it further than he intended it to. She bites down on his bottom lip, tugging it with her teeth before she slides her tongue into her mouth. She tastes of coffee and he’s reminded that they’re in Goat’s public kitchen– any member can walk in right now. Ryouta is one thing– Ayato doesn’t care too much about him– but he has no idea how he would explain himself to someone like Banjou if they happened to see him kissing a taken girl.

“Room…” he murmurs against her lips. “Let’s go to the room.”

 _No._ They shouldn’t. There’s no telling what they’ll do in the room. Ayato might hate Ryouta but he has no plans on sleeping with someone else’s girlfriend. He steps away from Hinami, who jumps off the counter with a disturbed expression. He’s half-expecting her to walk away from him, while the other half is expecting her to either slap him or tell him off. But Hinami glances around before she grabs his wrist and starts walking out of the kitchen, pulling him along with her. His heart races and as they walk to the room, both of them looking around as they went. There are people around but no one seems to be paying them any attention. Ryouta is nowhere in sight as well.

 _I have no plans on sleeping with someone else’s girlfriend_. He tells himself that again and again, all while wishing no one would see this and stop them. But the moment Hinami pulls him into her room and close the door behind him, all guilt and hesitation disappear from his mind completely and he’s cupping her face and pressing his lips against hers. She tastes sweet and also a lot like coffee and Ayato simply can’t stop himself from wanting and reaching for more. There’s absolutely no hesitation when he pushes her onto her bed and crawls over her. He pins her hands down as his mouth finds its place in the crook of her neck. Hinami arcs her back, writhing under him, as she whimpers his name out. He feels her chest brushing against his, her knees pressing against his crotch. She pulls her hands out from his hold with a little bit of struggle. He isn’t holding them down too tightly anyway. Her hands move down his body, tugging on his jacket and attempting to pull it off him.

“Eager, aren’t we?” he laughs, sitting up. He rids himself of his jacket, throwing it aside. He might as well remove his t-shirt now. It’ll be annoying to have to stop himself from it later. Hinami watches him with slightly narrowed eyes, nibbling on her lips again. The moment the t-shirt is off, she’s reaching for him, hands running along the ridges of his abdomen and chest. She grabs his shoulders, fingers digging into the tough muscle before she pulls him back down for another kiss. Ayato lets her lead, relaxing as she enters his mouth again and runs her tongue along his teeth. He reaches to unbutton her blouse, parting the fabric as he starts to move his hands towards her chest. Hinami pulls away from him, only to push him down on the bed and inverse their positions. With her now straddling him, the blouse falls off her shoulders as she reaches behind to undo her bra.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks weakly. Hinami doesn’t say anything. But her tossing her blouse and bra aside to crawl over him again gives him her answer. He doesn’t think he’ll have it in him to stop at this point as well. Her body seems to have changed a little since they did it back then in Aogiri. Her breasts seem bigger than he remembered them to be and even though she’s still wearing her skirt, Ayato notices that there’s more curve to her hips as well.

“Touch me,” she murmurs before she kisses him again, hands taking his and placing them on her hips. Ayato relents, moving his hands upwards to feel more skin and flesh. Her body is soft and smooth to the touch and he longs to push her down and simply spend the rest of the day just kissing her. But he doesn’t think he can wait much longer. His pants are already painfully tight. Instead, he moves his hands down, unzipping her skirt and pushing it down before he starts to peel off her leggings and panties.

“I’m not the only eager one, it seems,” she sighs, raising her head. She smiles down at him, her hand coming to his face again to lightly stroke his cheek again, pushing his hair away in the process. “You’re really handsome, you know.”

“I know that…”

“You do?” she asks, amused.

“Yeah… it’s the only thing that’s good about me apparently.”

“What?”

“It’s the only reason people like me… or even care about me…”

Hinami laughs a little and shakes her head. “That’s not true! There’s a lot of things that are good about you.”

“Oh really?”

“Would I feel this way about someone who’s handsome but a terrible person?” Hinami asks.

Ayato considers her words for a while, before he sits up. He takes her by the wrist, pulling her hand away to bring it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss to her knuckles, letting his lips linger on the slight dents.

“Tell me how you feel about me.”

“You tell me first,” she murmurs.

“Me?”

“Yes,” she says, her voice trembling a little. He wonders if she’s nervous, fearful of her answer. “Tell me how you feel about me…”

“I might not feel anything, you know… Are you prepared to hear that? Maybe I just want you for this,” he says. It’s a lie and that’s clear as day. She brings her other hand up, clasping his hand between both of hers tightly.

“Then… I’ll deal with it… Ryouta-kun told me something last night and I… It’s all I’ve been thinking about,” she says. “If you just want me for sex, I want to know that as well.”

“What did he tell you?”

Hinami hesitates a little and her smile falters. “That you like me…” she says, pausing as she gulps a little. “Is it… true?”

“He told you that I like you?”

“He says it’s obvious and everyone knows that you’re in love with me. I… thought it was nonsense… But I keep thinking about it… maybe because I really want it to be true.”

“You  _want_ me to like you…” His voice is soft as he speaks, his words forming slowly and cautiously. He derives some conclusions from her words and tone– things that make his heart pound against the constraints of his chest as his throat goes dry and his body go limp. But Ayato knows that false hope brings about only more pain and despair and he’s not about to jump right into believing everything until he hears it from her own mouth. His restrained erection, while hurting and desperate from release, takes a back seat in his mind right now and all he can think about is her words and the way she’s looking at him with doubtful, uncertain eyes, almost as if she’s simply reflecting his own worries back at him.

“Why?” he whispers. His voice cracks, but he doesn’t pay too much attention to it.

“I… like you too…”

“You like me?” He feels like he’s holding his breath.

“No… Uhm…”

“No?”

“I think I’m in love too… with you…”

 _Love._ He chokes at her words. Her eyes are staring at him, wide open in fear and worry. He can feel her hands trembling as she holds him and he brings his free hand up to place it over hers. He squeezes her hands lightly, leaning down to kiss them again.

“Even though there’s someone else?”

“There was never someone else…”

“Ryouta… you never liked him?”

“I didn’t think I was going to go anywhere with you… You’re so distant and cold…” she admits. “I remember how you were that night, Ayato-kun… but after that, I never saw that side again. I… thought you lost interest in me.”

“I was busy in Aogiri… and in Goat… I thought you didn’t need me anymore…”

“You thought I didn’t need you?” she snaps, brows furrowing. He sees angry tears at the sides of her eyes and as she blinks, they fall slowly out, rolling down her cheek and leaving behind a slight trail. “Why… why would you think that way? You’re always important… no matter who’s around…”

“I’m sorry… I just thought…” he sighs in defeat. He brings a hand to her face, swiping his thumb against her cheek, wiping a teardrop away. He pulls her closer, pressing his lips against her cheek, licking the salty streak. “Please don’t cry…”

“Ayato-kun…” she whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Can we do it? I want to do it with you.”

“But this is… Are you sure? Even though there’s Ryouta–”

“Ayato-kun,  _please_ …”

“Anything for you.” He lifts her lightly to place her on the bed. Her bottoms are still hanging off her partly and he lowers himself to pull them off completely. He kisses her knee before moving upwards slowly and pressing kisses onto her skin. He kisses her inner thigh, smiling at the tremble he feels. He reaches the junction between her two thighs and looks up at her. Hinami’s looking down at him, reaching towards him. He feels her hand in his hair, pulling him towards her. He accepts, leaning forward to give her one long, broad and slow stroke, right to her core and then slowly up to her wet and swollen clit.

“Ayato-kun, please,” she mewls. Both her hands are grabbing his hair, tugging it as she’s guiding his movements. He feels the sting of his scalp but he doesn’t pay too much attention to it. He’s reminded of his erection from her wetness that’s coating his face as she grinds against him. He wants this as much as she does. He wants her as much as she wants him as well.

With one hand parting her folds so that he can easily push his tongue into her warm cavern, he reaches down with the other, pressing against and rubbing his dick. A moan slips out of his mouth and Hinami shudders as he does. He really needs more. He wants to touch himself more but with one hand, he can’t really undo his belt.

“Fuck. I can’t wait anymore,” he hisses, pulling away from her completely. Hinami’s hands drop to the sides as she watches him struggle with his belt. Sometimes he hates these things. Well, he’s not the most sexually active person out there– he’d be a virgin if it wasn’t for that one time with Hinami– so he’s never been too concerned about it, but now he’s  _really_  annoyed. When he eventually gets it out, he tosses it roughly aside before he moves to strip himself off his jeans and boxes, all as Hinami’s laughter rings in his ears.

“Hurry up, Ayato-kun,” she giggles once he’s naked and he doesn’t waste too much time lunging towards her and entering her. It’s not like he has to be gentle or anything. Hinami tosses her head back against the pillows as a loud moan escapes her mouth. She’s already louder than last night with Ryouta and Ayato pats himself on the back for it. He thrusts harder and deeper into her as her walls clench down tightly around him. She feels so warm and slick and it feels so right.

He can’t believe that he’s doing this, that it’s actually happening. Even though he’d thought of giving up on her, even though he thought he had no chance, finally–  _finally!_ – he has her the way he’s always desired. Ayato doesn’t know how long this moment will last. He has no idea what they plan to do after this. But whatever happens in the future is for future him to worry about. Right now, he’s treasuring every single second.

“Hinami… Hinami… fuck… I…” he groans softly as he hits the spot that has her screaming his name, fingers raking down hard on his back. She looks so beautiful spread out under him– hair fanning under her as her damp bangs cling onto her forehead, eyes narrowed into tiny, glimmering slits that are fixed at him and her glossy, plump lips, swollen and moist from kissing him over and over again just now, parted slightly only for moans of his name to spill out. “Fuck, I love you.”

“Me… too,” she chokes. He continues his thrusts, more erratic and rough as time passes, breaking into her words by eliciting whines and gasps from her. “I… ahh… Love you… Ah… Ayato… I… really love Ayato-k- Ah!”

 _She loves him_. It feels surreal hearing that, far more surreal than the thought of doing this with her even though she’s together with someone else. He didn’t think he’ll ever hear this, especially in the last couple of day. It feels like the impossible had just happened.

“Ayato-kun… Aya–ah– Ayato!” she screams his name as he slams into her with as much force as he can. Her walls squeeze him tight and it’s impossible not to give in.

“Fuck… I’m gonna…”

“Come… Come inside…” she cries out. “Fill me up Ayato-kun.”

One more thrust and he’s spilling his seed deep into her. He doesn’t recall coming this much in a long time, but even then, he realises he’s still hard. Hinami blinks her eyes open, looking down at him. A small smirk blooms on her face and she looks up at him. She sits up slightly to give him a kiss as a hand wrap around his dripping erection, lightly stroking it.

“It’s okay… We have a lot of time…”

* * *

 

It becomes a habit much faster than she thought it would. On that day, Ayato didn’t spend the night in her room as she would have liked him to. They went at it for another two or three rounds before he left. Hinami herself isn’t sure how much they did. She lost count of how many times he made her cum a short while after their first round– when Ayato pressed her down onto the bed and began eating her out like a starved man finally getting his hands on the most delicious meal of his life.

When they were done, he got up and pulled on his clothes, leaving her only after he’s made sure that she’s okay, that she didn’t need anything else and was comfortably tucked into bed. She felt empty when he left, but it’s a different kind of emptiness from what Ryouta makes her feel. This time, it feels like she’s lost a chance at feeling more.

She sees Ayato much much more after that night. She spends more time with him than she does with Ryouta in fact. Ryouta doesn’t sleep over in her room at all. He had called her over to his before, but Hinami’s always felt more comfortable in her own room. She doesn’t mind the conditions too much, but her room’s located close to the people she knows very well. Ryouta is surrounded by members she can’t even name. Since he leaves her alone most of the time, she has the whole night to herself and lately, to Ayato.

Ayato probably listens in to what she does with Ryouta, or perhaps he doesn’t really have the choice thanks to his sharper than average ears and the extremely thin walls parting them. A short while after Ryouta leaves, Ayato shows up, not bothering to knock and throwing open to door. She’s always waiting for him, lying spread out, ready and thirsty. Ayato doesn’t waste too much time either. He has his body over her in a matter of seconds, kissing her hungrily as he grinds his crotch against hers. She knows that they shouldn’t be doing this. She knows that he knows it as well. She’s still cheating on Ryouta, even if he is the worst boyfriend to walk the face of the planet, but something stops her from telling him about it every time she tries to do so. She still feels guilty about all this, about betraying Ryouta. She knows that she has to break up with him if she wants to be more open about her relationship with Ayato. But every time she tries to do it, she chickens out.

“I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt his feelings… He’ll get angry,” Hinami says. She’s lying on Ayato’s bare chest, snuggling up to him as her finger trace light patterns into his skin– bunny patterns, since she knows he likes rabbits.

“He’s going to get angrier if he sees us together one day,” Ayato sighs. She feels his warm breath against her scalp as he buries his face in her hair. His presence is always warm and it brings her so much comfort. Hinami snuggles up more to him and in response, he tightens his arms around her.

“But… that’s different… If he sees us, you’ll be there as well,” she argues back.

“That’ll just complicate matters even more,” Ayato grumbles. “Just hurry up and do it… I want to tell Touka about us soon. I know she’ll be happy about it.”

Touka hadn’t shown even half the enthusiasm Banjou and Tsukiyama had shown when she told them about Ryouta. It had confused Hinami back then, but she sees why now– Touka had been rooting for Ayato all the while.

“I want to tell Onee-chan too,” Hinami murmurs.  

“Then, go and break up with that idiot.”

She resolves to, but the next day, she finds herself sitting with Ryouta over coffee, letting him hold her hands as he pulls her into the kiss. She doesn’t feel anything from this kiss. It’s not like Ayato’s kisses, which make her go weak in the knees and feels anticipation and excitement  _for more_ shoot through her veins and right into her core. She feels like a doll around him– no emotions, no reactions and no opinions. She really is better off without him, whether or not she has Ayato by her side. But she doesn’t say a single word. She stays silent, cursing her cowardice, then she feigns laughter along with him.

This  _definitely_  isn’t going to end well.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, I didn’t bother characterizing Ryouta that much, I just asked “What is the worst possible thing he can say here?” and went with it when I wrote so he turns out to be misogyny and 10000 bad boyfriend tropes rolled into one person. Also to clarify, Ayato and Hinami are not exes, they just did it once before, you know, shit went down and they didn't have time to think about their feelings and relationships and whatever. 
> 
> I would say look forward to Chapter 2 but I really don't know when it will be up.


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